You are hotter than 67% of men on this site!

I should probably verify what I am talking about, shouldn't I? Well maybe you have heard of this site called Hot Or Not. It's a slideshow of pictures and you rate the pictures on a 1-10 scale. Thus they average your current score and it tells you if you are hot...or not. Right now my score, based on 34 people, is a respectable 7. Now if you want to go take a look at the pic follow the yellow brick link. Give me false self esteem by giving me a ten! Yellow Brick Link

"Desperado," the movie I judge all action movies by now.

Desperado
If you're angry and you know it, shoot anything that moves *clap clap*


Now next week see's the release of the heavily anticipated 'Sin City' movie and i decided to do my research before seeing Sin City. I've taken the Frank Miller Crash Course. I read Dark Knight Returns, Batman:Year One, and the first Sin City novel. Now that I was familiar with Frank Miller, I decided to to take the Robert Rodriguez Crash Course. But enough about 'Sin City,' this review belongs to the godly 'Desperado.'

In 'El Mariachi,' a young man just wanted to be a Mariachi like his father and ancestors, instead he get's thrown into the middle of a drug conflict. Apparently the killer who is gunning for the drug dealer wears black and carries a guitar case full of weapons. The innocent Mariachi wears black and carries a guitar case full of , well, a guitar. He is forced to fight for his life as the people mistake him for the assassin gunning for their boss. Towards the end, his true love is killed, his guitar is lost, and he get's a bullet straight through the hand so he can never play again. Would that make you a little mad? Well if it would, then grab your guitar case full of weapons and prepare for 'Desperado'.

'Desperado' takes place after an undisclosed period of time after 'El Mariachi.' Wherein the Mariachi in 'El Mariachi' was a kind, gentle being, the Mariachi in this is just completely dark. The Mariachi(now played by Antonio Banderas), is looking for a man named Botcho, a drug dealer connected with the killing of his love. The movie starts off with a bang and sets the tone for the rest of the movie. It starts with Buscemi(Steve Buscemi) walking into a bar and telling a story about a large Mexican who laid waste to an enitre bar full of people. And yes, it shows him laying waste to a bar full of people. As the Mariachi travels the country looking for Botcho, he finds himself just running into trouble in yet another bar. In a no shorter than 10 minute shoot out, Quentin Tarantino makes a cameo and there is blood and by the gallons. The Mariachi steps outside the bar, after everyone is dead of course, and see's a woman, Catalina(Salma Hayek), about to be caught in the crossfire, he saves her and punishes the guy shooting. Mariachi is human though and does take his shots. He often has Catalina sew him up so he is battle ready. Catalina owns a book store that her parents left to her. The plot unfolds from this point on with action sequence ater action sequence. This movie is the epitome of action movies. I cannot watch an action movie now and not compare it to 'Desperado.' The movie's conclusion is perfect and makes you look forward to the next chapter in the Mariachi's life.

The DVD version I viewed was a "bare-bones" disc so there weren't any special features at all. After watching this movie though, I felt kinda bad because I felt that Pulp Fiction may have been dethroned as my favorite movie of all time. I am still fighting at that notion as I type this. Don't you love the way I make my favorite movies list so epic? In conclusion though, just go out and see this movie. You will not be disappointed and you will be thoroughly entertained. If you like guns, hot girls, blood, more blood on top of that blood, and more guns then you can fit in the trunk of a 87' Chevy Hatchback, you will love this movie. I love it so much that I think I will go watch it again....and possibly marry it....

Final Score
5/5

Sin City news and a update about my script.

Has the new trailer not quenched your thirst for "Sin City?" What was that you just said? Did you just say "If I had an 11 minute behind the scenes video, it would make the wait easier?" Well then good readers(or reader rather), do I have the thing for you! Yahoo put this up yesterday and I figured I should share it. It's a 11 minute preview interviewing cast, crew, Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, and Quentin Tarantino. Enjoy!

Sin City Behind the Scenes(click on "Bring the Graphic Novel to Life)

Ahh yes, my script. Well currently on page 87 now and I should be finishing soon. I think it's funny at least. I hope my hard work pays off!

Need a place for music reviews? Well then you're in luck!

Now I can talk about movies for days. Directors, actors, film companies, etc. But when it comes to music I am pretty much in the dark. I try to stay hip with music but often fall short. But that is all going to change now that my friend Kristan has published her first review on her new blog. The first cd review is of The Killers album "Hot Fuss." Definitely a great read for a great album and I expect much greatness to come from her blog. Want a link? Well, I'd be happy to! Oh, and come on people, leave comments.

Kristan's Blog

Passion re-release tanks hard. Faith in humanity restored.

Everyone remember my rant about the re-release of the Passion? Well apparently the "Aunt Martha's" and "Uncle Harry's" didn't give a crap about the Passion having violence taken out. You want box office results? Here ya go: It opened in 900 theaters and only made $251 per theater. It made a total of $243,000 this weekend. My faith in humanity is restored. Good to see people aren't buying into Mel Gibson's greed. Mel you did good the first time, let it go.

Source: JoBlo

Two movies you should see but haven't heard of!

Actually let me take that back, one of these movies you may have heard of but probably didn't see. Now I am a fan of the obscure and not just mainstream obscurity. And let me tell you, one of the movies I am about to mention is the definition of obscure. So let's GO, GO GADGET REVIEW STUFF!

Cabin Fever
Not as bad as people made it out to be

Ok first I am going to start off with 'Cabin Fever.' Now my sister rented this and I didn't expect much from it, especially after she watched it and said how horrible it was. I went in expecting it to be this anti-Christ of a movie but was actually pleasantly surprised.

The movie starts off with a group of friends going to go rent a cabin in the woods for a week so they can party and do "hip" stuff like that. Yes, the movie starts off shallow. Yes, you have seen these characters before. Anyway what makes this movie different though is the way each person portrays their character. You have the cool blonde guy who actually pulls off being a cool blonde guy with just the right amount of shallow. You have pretty girl that main character is in love with who is also convincing. My favorite though is Burt. Burt is the loud obnoxious guy that decides he wants to shoot squirrels because "they are gay." I failed to mention that the main character is played by Rider Strong of 'Boy Meets world' fame. Anyway they get set up and suddenly are attacked by a hermit who vomits blood all over their car. They kill him by setting him on fire and he runs off into the woods in a blaze of glory. His body falls into the lake that distributes the water to the resort and contaminates it with his skin disease carrying blood. Hilarity ensues. Not really but I thought I should say that. The cute girl is then turned from cute to hideous complete with rotting flesh. Think of a zombie that isn't dead yet. That's about the jist of the plot. Sometimes the movie felt uneven though. It could have been scary and truly classic but director Eli Roth didn't really stick to a formula. I found myself laughing more than being scared. did we That's good for most movies like this but this movie had promise. Did we really need the mullet kid shouting "PANCAKES" while doing karate moves? Not really but the movie is still a fun ride though.

Now the DVD to 'Cabin Fever' is amazing though. It makes fun of itself by having features such as a special "Family Version" that lasts 30 seconds. Also they have a really cool and informative documentary about the making of the movie. My favorite feature though has to be "Chick Vision." You can turn this on and during the most frightening parts of the movie, actual hands will come on screen and cover up the scary part. It's a good feature and a novelty item all in one!
Even with its flaws, "Cabin Fever" should at least be on your rental list. The movie may have holes in it but the DVD makes up for it. Rent it, it's a cheap rental now, you have no excuse.

Movie Score
3.5/5

DVD Score
4/5

Dog Soldiers
The best werewolf movie I have ever seen.

Remember when I said one of these movies defined obscure? This is it. Dog Soldiers was released back in 2002 on DVD. America was one of the few countries that did not get a theatrical release of the spectacular film . If it had been released maybe we would actually have standards for werewolf movies instead of the 'Van Helsing's' and 'Underworlds' being panned as "werewolf" movies.

A group of British soldiers are dispatched to a routine training mission in Scotland. Things start to get strange though after they discover a Special Op's camp slaughtered with only one survivor. They are then attacked by werewolves but make it to the street in time to be picked up by the female main character. They go and stay at her friend's house while they try to figure out what is going on. During this time bullets are constantly flying as the house is continuously attacked by werewolves. The plot twists and turns and you never know what is going to happen next. The dialogue is fast and furious with characters playing off one another at an almost Kevin Smith like pace. There are subtle pop culture references that are hilarious. This movie, unlike Cabin Fever, knows what it wants to be. The humor is in there but not in a slapstick fasion.

Now let me talk about the werewolves and the gore. Oh yes, glorious gore. There are literally buckets upon buckets of gore in this movie. Heads are ripped off, limbs severed, and guts ripped out. The werewolves are believable as the are costumes and not CGI. The DVD itself is pretty lame though without any real features worth mentioning besides the standard theatrical trailer. However a great part about this DVD is it's price. Why rent the movie when you can buy it for $7? Yes, the price of this great movie is under $10. Great movie, great price, need I say more?

Final Score
4.5/5

DVD Score
2.5/5 (because of the price)

I hope your review need has been quenched. Before I close I would like to give a special thanks to the Green Day Authority forums for stopping in and checking out my site.

This past 24 hours has been amazing for movie news!

There are four points of buisness and each of them get more and more amazing. Gotta lot to cover so let's get started.

X-Men 3 News
Now as many of you know X-Men 1 and 2 director/writer Brian Singer has stepped down. However they still have a short list of directors who may shoot it. Now the reason I care about this is because one of those Directors is Zack Snyder. Now Zack Snyder isn't a household name by any means but you may be familiar with his work. He directed the "Dawn of the Dead" remake that came out last year. I would personally love to see his take on the X-men movies as I really did not enjoy X-Men 2.
X Men 3 News
(scroll down to find X3 news)

Sin City News
Now onto news about my most anticipated movie of the year; Sin City. The final trailer hit the internet yesterday and after many, many viewings, I cannot wait for this movie. Oh, you probably want a link don't you? Well you don't get one, but I can make an exception this one time.
Sin City Final Trailer

Freddy VS Jason VS Ash News
Well this news isn't anything good sadly. The project is officially dead, however that's not to say another Freddy VS Jason won't happen. However, and there is another however, this will not happen for a few years. If you can't wait that long, then head over to the link to the now internet safe 20 page Freddy VS Jason VS Ash Treatment. It couldn't be released before as someone might have gotten killed had it gotten leaked. A treatment is just a outline of the story, but hey, it's better than nothing.
Treatment

Earth Shattering News
You didn't think I could end on a down note, did you? Now what you are about to hear is shocking. Your head may just explode just thinking about what will happen if this happens. Are you ready? Do you have paper towels just in case your head does exploded? Quentin Tarantino is in the final negotiations to write/direct a........FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIE!!! Entitled "The Ultimate Jason Voorhees Project," and if Tarantino does it, it will be just that. This is not a joke. This is seemingly going to happen. I have links to prove it! But just remember, hand Jason his machete, it's the one that says "Bad Mother ****er" on it!
Taratino Friday the 13th

Hi, my name is Mel Gibson and I like money.

What else can be said really? As most of you know, next week Mel Gibson's super successful Easter "masterpiece" will be rereleased in a super duper "recut" version of the film. This "new" version of the film will have six minutes of the violence cut out of it. Now if you have seen The Passion" then you already know that six cut minutes of the movie is not going to make it more family friendly. Now the initial run time of the movie is 127. So taking the six minuts out will put it at just about two hours. Now for a movie that has Jesus being beaten for about 3/4's of the movie, how can six minutes make it any less graphic? Maybe they will take out a whip here and a whip there but in the end he is still being whipped. He most likely took out the part where Jesus has his ribs exposed and maybe part of the crucifixtion. Now the only reason to do this is to make more money. However if you don't believe me, take a look at this half-cocked answer by Mr. Passion himself, Mel Gibson. Half-Cocked Reasoning

Now he says he is doing it for the "Uncle Harry's" and the Grandmothers who may not have seen it before. If he wanted them to see it, why didn't he just release the "recut" version to theaters last year? Now the film has integrity and I respect what he tried to do but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Jesus was more than just a guy who was beaten. Jesus wasn't the only guy ever to be brutally beaten. In Biblical times it happened quite often. The movie should have been three parts Jesus teaching the people and one part crucifixtion. Instead the movie went the other way and just showed Jesus being beaten for two hours. Jesus died for a reason and that reason was for our sins. I dunno really what I think of the film, if you can even call it a film. I just know that a "Passion Recut" DVD will come out and a fully loaded version of the original will eventually come out as well. Is $600 million worldwide not enough for you? You did a good thing I suppose but leave it alone. It's time has passed, stop forcing it on us. I am a Christian and I believe in Christ dying for our sins but I don't feel that it should be forced onto people, they need to believe it for themselves and not because a movie told them to. I really do like Mel Gibson, I feel he is both a talented actor and director. However I don't like this version of Mel Gibson. I honestly think he has missed the purpose of his own film. Just my two cents on this one.

A plethora of things to talk about. I just used the word "plethora."

Ok so to start off this news post I will say this; The Happy Show has commenced shooting again. If you don't know what the Happy Show is then let me tell you. The Happy Show is a public access show that I do reviews for with my friend, and comic shop owner, Matt Hawes. There is also a puppet involved. So we shot some stuff for the third season of the show today involving my controversial review of Napoleon Dynamite. Good times. Those should start airing within a month or two.

Second order of buisness is in regards to the commenting system. It has been changed so that you no longer have to have a blog in order to post. That is helpful on so many levels as many people had trouble commenting in the past due to this glitch.

And the final order of buisness is this; I corrected the misspelled word on the sidebar. Finally got around to doing that and added the rating of "0" to the list. Also check out the site of a local girl. Her name is Erica and she runs a Lord of the Rings site. Worth checking out. The Bagend Bugle
Should have a review of something up soon so keep checking back. Also you can use the question/comment link to email me a question or request me to review something. I like getting email from people who read this site. I also like getting email other than forwards. Keep that in mind.

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