Hey, George Romero, make a movie with the undertone of milking a franchise!

Land of the Dead
Back to the slooooooooow zombies.....

Ok, let me start off by saying that this is not a bad movie. However, it is not a good movie either. In 1968 George Romero, then 28, revolutionized film making with a little film called "Night of the Living Dead." In it was a politcal commentary on racism in the South. I didn't pick up on that though as I was too busy yelling for the blonde chick to get slapped. Then came "Dawn of the Dead" a few years later and "Day of the Dead" even more years later. Everyone assumed the Romero Dead Trilogy was complete...until they realized that there was still money to be made.

"Land of the Dead" takes place now. Zombies roam free and the last survivors of humanity live in a city surrounded by a river on all three sides. The wealthy live in a almost "boy in bubble" type hotel/mall/restaraunt. Military task forces are deployed every once in a while to go get supplies from nearby cities. It's on one of these routine adventures that we are introduced to our main characters. Simon Baker and John Leguizamo play the leads this time out as two characters with paper thin personalities and motives. They pick up some chick along the way after she is thrown into a zombie cage match. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we catch zombies and exploit them. Anyway, Leguizamo gets mad at Dennis Hopper and steals the battle wagon, "Dead Reckoning." During this time though, the zombies are evolving, or well, at least the one black guy zombie is. The rest of them just kind of walk around and shuffle into each other until the black zombie yells at them. Speaking of shuffling, after the success of running zombies in the "Dawn" remake, couldn't we have at least had one zombie at least attempt to run? I would have even settled for a power walk. Instead, we get the slow moving zombies that walk .00001 MPH yet can still get you before you run away. The ending is what really turned it off for me.

And now a spoiler warning for those of you who haven't seen it.

Yes, let's let the zombies walk off after they just massacred an entire city of people. And let's end the movie with the same vague "Well, I think we are just gonna drive for a while until we reach Canada" as in all the other "Dead" movies. You go to Canada to dodge the draft you morons, not flee from zombies.


I must say though that Tom Savini is the true hero of this movie. His gore effects were once again top notch. Only thing that bothered me about the gore is that some of it was blatantly obvious that it was CGI. The cameo's by "Shaun of the Dead" stars Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright were also great. In conclusion I would like to say this: This movie did not need to be made. Sure it was cool, but with no character development, why should I give two craps in a bucket about any of these characters? Romero, I expected more from you...

Final Score
3/5

I look forward to see how one of my favorite comics, "Living with Zombies," follows this movie up.

It just doesn't get any better than Batman Begins.

Batman Begins
Let's just hope he doesn't get a Robin

Now, I am one of the biggest Batman fans out there, so you must know how I felt when Batman and Robin came out. I felt betrayed, I felt as if my comic book hero was gunned down in Crime Alley by the most vile villain of all: Jerry Bruckhiemer. But don't fret, Christopher Nolan has decided to come and reinvent a wayward franchise.

Long gone are the days of nipple suits and ER doctors. Batman is back... sort of. Christopher Nolan has set this film apart from the other four films. This is not a bad thing as the other films were lackluster to say the least. Each one had something wrong with it. The original had Jack Nicholson butcher the Joker; Returns had Danny Devito as the Penguin and Christopher Walken was under used; Forever was just way too comical; Batman and Robin was just...well...best to dwell in the greatness in Batman Begins than to fester in the sheer horror of Batman and Robin.

Batman Begins begins with Bruce Wayne. This is the origin story of how Bruce Wayne becomes Batman so those of you expecting Batarangs to the neck in the first five minutes may be disappointed. Bruce is trained during this time by Liam Neesons character of Henry Ducard. Christian Bale plays Bruce Wayne this time out and all I have to say is that he should always be Batman. He completely owns the role in this one. Not only because he plays a great Batman, but because he can play billionaire playboy, Bruce Wayne, so well also. Katie Holmes stars as the pseudo love interest but stays in the background. The main story revolves around Bruce becoming the Batman, the prosecution process of Carmine Falcone, and a plot to destroy Gotham by the League of Shadows, run by Ra's Al Ghul(played here by Ken Watanabe). Cillian Murphy does an awesome job as Dr. Jonathon Crane aka Scarecrow when he shows off what he can do while interviewing Falcone. The Scarecrow is one of my favorite villains and to see him played so well did nothing but fill me with joy. Just so many acting compliments to give out this time. Gary Oldman is great as Sgt. Gordon, Morgan Freeman is great as Lucious Fox, and Michael Cain dominates as a cynical Alfred. The plot of the movie moves along and involves Crane's signature fear gas. Lot's of action ensues and the new Batmobile shows what it can do. The twist is also good and most will never see it coming.

Even though it doesn't stick to the comic completely, I couldn't ask for more. I can't imagine seeing this in anything other than an IMAX screen as it is just so much better on a screen of that size. The ending left me wanting more. Especially with what they hinted at in the next movie. Go see Batman Begins and you will not leave disappointed.

Final Score
5/5

Barry Watson does it for the paycheck in "Boogeyman"

Boogeyman
PG-13 horror at it's absolute worst.

There is a trend in Hollywood right now. That trend is the PG-13 horror movie. Now, these movies try to be more psycological than violent. In the case of a movie like "White Noise," it works like a charm. In the case of a movie like "Boogeyman," it just...well, it sucks...hard.

Tim(Barry Watson..with a 5 'o clock shadow going for a supporting Oscar) believes in the Boogeyman. He believes it a lot more after his dad is beat to death by the Boogeyman in his closet. Naturally, we are going to fast forward 15 years and see how he is doing. He naturally has fooled himself into thinking that his dad just "ran away" instead of the fact that his dad was beat to death by a crappy CGI figure. He is some sort of writer or something at a magazine with a new main squeeze. I'd tell you her name but it's not important since the movie only mentions it once or twice. And if it's too good for the movie to mention, it's too good for me to mention. We see her ask Tim to go get her her coat but, GASP, he has to come face to face...with a CLOSET! Yes, the main villain in this film is Tim's fear of closets. It also add's a sort of an unintentionally homsexual metaphor/undertone to the entire movie. I mean, come on, closets?

Naturally his mom dies and he is forced to go back home. His psychiatrist suggests he stay in the house where his dad "left" and he does. Some girl from his past named Kate comes over and offers to bring him food. He also meets some girl whose purpose/plot twist is blatantly obvious throughout the entire movie. When it comes down to the actual Boogeyman fight, it is so underwhelming you want to beat yourself in the head just to forget the sheer stupidity of the entire movie.

The Boogeyman himself was kinda cool to look at, that is until they defeat him in the lamest way possible. The only good point in this movie is towards the end when Tim's uncle fires a nailgun at him. I too want to fire a nailgun at Barry Watson for signing onto this movie. Apparently he wanted to be like fellow 7th Heaven co-star, Jessica Biel, and have a hit horror movie like she did with the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake. Well, it may have been number one at the box office one week, but then I just reassure myself that people are stupid. It helps me sleep at night when crap like "Boogeyman" keep getting greenlit .

Final Score
1.5

P.S.
Whoever said the quote "Scariest Movie Ever" that appears on the box of the DVD, remind me to beat you to death with movies that are much better.

"Revenge of the Sith" reviewed....two weeks late!

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Did ya hear? Anakin killed Younglings!

So after seeing it for a third time yesterday, I've decided this is my favorite Star Wars movie hands down. It just has everything that I wanted to see. Even though Natalie Portman's acting may not be the gretest, Ian McDiarmids acting more than makes up for the preggo Padme. So, yeah, this reveiew is going to be short as you have probably already seen it and have already made up your mind about it. Some great parts of the movie are the Anakin scenes, Anakin killing everyone and everything, and Obi-Wan. I also found it absolutely hilarious that, after Anakin kills all the Younglings in the Jedi temple, everyone kept bringing it up. The only downfall of the movie is that George Lucas still can't write very well. The movie is fine but his dialouge is still pretty bad. Then again, Star Wars dialogue has never been Oscar worthy. And yes, I even shed a tear when my man, Ki-Adi Mundi, bit the big one. The lava battle is also awesome and how I always imagined Anakin being taken out. So yeah, if you haven't seen it yet, go see it now.

Final Score
5/5

Sidenote: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!