The Toxic Avenger-Unrated Directors Cut DVD
What an obscure movie to review Gavin.......

Obscure indeed. Anyway I picked this up off eBay a few weeks ago because of what I had heard about it. Needless to say I was not disappointed. The plot is really dumb but hey, it's Troma, what did you expect? The story starts off with a mop boy named Melvin just mopping away at the local Tromaville Health Club. He is by far one of the most annoying characters in movie history. Anyway he makes some of the locals mad by his screw ups and they decide to get him back. This is the same group of people that go on hit and runs for points and enjoy running people over. Ahh, running people over, is their no finer pass time?
*Note: I do not condone running people over. Don't do it, it's not nice.*
Anyway they make poor Melvin get in a tutu and mock him for wearing one and then he gets so embarrassed he decides to jump out a window. Why he decides the best plan of action is to jump out a window is beyond me. Luckily for Melvin he dives head first into a barrel of good ol' fashion toxic waste. This turns him into, DUN DUN DU, THE TOXIC AVENGER! Anyway he starts to take on the bad guys and he gives them what they deserve. Apparently they deserve to have limbs ripped off of them and their heads crushed. Go figure. That just about sums up the movie.

Now this was the Toxie DVD that was released way back in the stone age in a year called "1997" and some of the features are outdated but still good nonetheless. I enjoyed some of the special features but most of them were pointless. I did listen to the commentary by Troma President Lloyd Kaufman and I found it most informative. I was also prompted to read his book "Everything I Learned about Filmmaking I learned from the Toxic Avenger!" and it was a good read to say the least. You won't find the book on any recommended reading lists but it is a good read.

In conclusion I would like to say that Troma Studios has put out some really crappy movies out over their 25 years of being a independent movie studio but The Toxic Avenger is not one of those pieces of crap. I really enjoyed my experience with Toxie and I am looking forward to the sequels. These movies are not for kids though. I had to put that line in somewhere as it has basically become a unwritten law to inform parents that a movie containing a hideously deformed monster is "not for kids."

Final Score
4/5

This is something that I had to post because I actually laughed harder than I have in my entire life when I saw this on good ol' eBay!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=621&item=3746998792&rd=1
If you don't laugh at that you are not human!

This is a short video that gamers and mainly RPG gamers can appreciate!
http://content.collegehumor.com/media/movies/nohfirth_wulfe_-_instantrpg.wmv
I love finding obscure links on message boards! Thank you GameFAQS!

This person makes the human race look bad
A tale of stupidity and Star Wars' DVD's

So apparently a person got their copy of the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD shipped early. You know what that means? SELL IT ON EBAY!!!! Now this auction started about four days ago so roughly about two weeks before the Trilogy hits stores. Now I am all for getting something people want and jacking up the price on eBay but this is a little extreme given the circumstances. I would just wait to buy it when it comes out on the 21st of THIS MONTH. We aren't talking like this thing is coming out sometime next year we are talking A WEEK AND A FREAKING HALF! Anyway the auction was up for three days and it ended last night. Here is a actual screencap of the end of the auction.
WARNING: Don't look if you are on a budget!

Yes kids that is right, the final bid came in at a whopping $510! The funny thing is it is an open set and you know the guy watched them before selling. If this guy doesn't use Pay Pal and decides to use a money order he should get this in the mail......mmmm.....ABOUT THE SAME TIME IT IS RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC FOR $50! I may have been a little extreme in this news article but come on $510 is a bit much for something that is going to be made available in a week and a half. I will wait to get my set when everyone else does and save $460.

The Passion of the Christ on DVD
It's controversial review time kids!

I am sure this review is going to go over well with Christianity groups everywhere. First off I am going to make the bold statement that anybody could have made this movie, Mel Gibson just did it first. In my opinion and I will stick to this opinon, Mel Gibson cashed in on the Bible and the story of Jesus Christ dying for our sins. Besides the Aramaic and Jesus this was just another movie about an innocent man being beaten to death. Now I am a Christian and I believe in what the movie said and portrayed but I don't need to see Jesus brutally beaten to get the point accross. About the 50th time Jesus was hit with a stick, whip, or hit, kicked, or spat on the point was across. We know that he was crucified and that he was put to death. Why did it have to be so graphic?

The movie starts off in the Garden of Gethsemene with Jesus taking upon the sins of the world and being taunted by Satan. Yes I said Satan. Satan played somewhat of an important role but still I don't understand what the point of that freaky baby he was holding while the scourging of Jesus was going on. Anyway back to the sequence of events. We see Judas selling out Jesus to the High Priests for thirty pieces of silver. The guards come and seize Jesus and take him to be judged. They send him to Pontius Pilot and he refuses to condemn him because he see's no fault in him. He sends him to King Harold to see if he will condemn him but he doen't condemn him either. Jesus goes back to Pilot and he is ordered to be scourged only after he is exchanged for a notorious muderer by the name of Barabas.

Now onto the part that I mentioned in my opening paragraph; the violence. What is the first thing somebody told most of you after they saw this movie? That it was moving? Maybe. That it made them want to go back to church? Could be. Nine times out of ten though they commented on how brutally violent this movie was. In my opinion Mel Gibson could not tell a wonderful story about how Jesus touched people lives while he was alive so he opted to show the last horrific twelve hours of his life. Wes Craven or John Carpenter could have made a gorefest like the Passion and that is why I don't understand why people are giving so much credit to Mel Gibson over this. It is a good movie but it takes so much more to be a good movie about Christ or anything Biblical for that matter. The Ten Commandments was a wonderful Biblical movie because it showed Moses going through life from child to adulthood. Sure the movie was ten hours but it told everything that needed to be told. It takes more than two hours to tell the life of Jesus Christ. The only moment that actually moved me in this movie was the one flashback of Jesus just being a regular guy doing his carpentry. That humanized Jesus for me and that was one of the best scenes of the movie. You wouldn't know that though because of all the focus on the gore. The actually crucifiction of Jesus was one of the most barbaric things I have ever seen on film.

One of my main gripes though is that the DVD had absolutely no special features on it at all. I hear they are going to make a two disc edition to coincide with Christmas but why make a single disc verson at all? Money that is why and Mel Gibson is riding this money train for as long as he can. I know a blooper reel, albeit funny, would not be appropriate but some behind the scenes footage would have been nice even if they are releasing another version of it.

Now I am not by any means condemning this movie. If this movie got you to go back to chruch or appreciate Jesus' sacrifice more, than I am all for that. I enjoyed the movie but I felt it focused on the wrong things. I would have rather seen Jesus teaching the people than to see him beaten so severly in almost every scene. Any movie can show a man beaten to death but it takes a real filmmaker to make a moving picture about Jesus and Mel Gibson is not that man. It was a above average picture about the Atonement for our sins but lets face it, the book was better........


Final Score
3.5/5